Do You Know When and How to Say NO?
NOTE: If you prefer visual content, see the SlideShare presentation at the end of the post!
As we prove ourselves to be hard-working and competent person, we get more and more responsibilities and opportunities. The same thing happens with companies getting more and more demand for their services.
The problems arise when, at some point in time, we are forced by the limits of our time and resources to give up on something. Either we decide what that will be, or our circumstances will decide for us.
That is why companies have entire teams of people working to evaluate opportunities and demands coming their way, and politely but firmly saying “No” to those that don’t fit their big picture.
Here is how you can do the same:
1) Start by knowing your priorities
By setting our priorities for different aspect of our lives, we are getting the ultimate metrics for evaluating different alternatives we are considering.
By saying “no” to some opportunities, we are making sure that we won’t pass up more important ones, ones that are better aligned with our long-term goals, due to the fact that we are already juggling too many things.
We cannot achieve everything at once, but perhaps we can achieve it one by one with some strategic planning.
Clayton Christensen, HBS professor and disruptive innovation expert, in his bestselling book puts an emphasis on self-management by making sure that our time, energy and resources are invested according to our priorities.
There is no better time that now to invest some time in nurturing our friendships if we want them to stay intact 20 years down the road.
That is true for every other thing or relation we value and want to preserve. It the end, it all comes down to the choices we make and that have either short-term or long-term impact on our life.
2) Learn how to evaluate your options
Think of yourself as of a business you are managing. You have your goals and your resources, and you are ultimately working towards your survival, growth and development. On your way, you will have to make many choices of where to invest your resources.
Use the same evaluation method companies are using when making decisions where to invest their resouces – cost-benefit analysis – by estimating expected benefits and expected costs of each and every opportunity.
Expected benefits would be advantage we would get toward achieveving our goals.
Expected costs, on the other hand, would include time and energy we have invested, and oportunity cost – cost of not being able to invest in another alternative.
In order to decide for an alternative, expected benefits must be higher than expected costs.
Same as with companies, sometimes we can make a wrong decision if we base it on sunk costs. It can be very hard to decide to give up on something we have invested so much time and effort into; something that was our brain child; something that we have grown to love. But, if it is not working out, no matter how much we have invested of ourselves in it, the right this is to say is: “No (more)”.
3) Be prepared and you have won half a battle
There are many difficulties when it comes to actually saying “No” to someone. Some of them can be solved by careful preparation of respectful and brief responses we can use as a template for refusing an opportunity of request. We can even create several “No” messages for different circumstances.
When crafting our message it is very important to pay attention to couple of things.
– Be appreciative. By thanking the person for thinking of us or trusting our capabilities, we are letting them know that we are refusing the request, not them, and that we are open for future collaboration. Or even a coffee next week.
– Always provide a brief explanation.It is always better to give a reason for refusal than to leave people wondering. It is very important for that refusal to be straightforward and sincere. By giving lightweight reasons we are actually weakening our “No” and sometimes even disrespecting the other person.
4) Be ready to repeat
Sometimes, we will have to repeat our “No” several times before our response is accepted. Stay strong, even when faced with something like this:
Stay dignified and firm. Repeat your reasons if necessary but do not give in.
Do not get carried away by the promise of “just this once”. If you do give in, “just this once”, it is easy to give in again, and again, until the cost of acceptance is no longer marginal and no longer negligible.
As Christensen says, it is easier to hold to your principles 100% of the time, than it is to hold to them 98% of the time.
[slideshare id=44305280&doc=doyouknowwhenandhowtosaynocopy-150205065718-conversion-gate01&w=770]
The goal of this blog post is to spread the values of self-appreciation and importance of taking care of ourselves, and give you a place where you can feature who you are and celebrate your achievements. All of these values are going to be embodied in “ME Day” celebration on March 16th, 2015.
