Interview with Dave Taylor: Parenting Digital Natives

Dave Taylor is a man of many skills. He is a published author of over 20 books, computer industry pioneer, accomplished academic, award-winning public speaker, entrepreneur and all-around a great guy – but the Dave we want to present today is: Dave Taylor, a single dad of three, who writes about parenting on his Go Fatherhood blog. Although sometime tackling pretty serious topics, like his divorce, its impact on his children and difficulties of being a single father, his posts are brimming with humor and positive energy.

I had the opportunity to interview him and share his hands-on expertise about parenting and children’s online safety.

Most parent bloggers struggle with finding that fine line between sharing and over-sharing. Do you have the same problem? Where is that line for you?

I try to write about parenting, rather than parenting my children, but use them as examples. Sometimes I’ll get letters from other people with scenarios they’re wrestling with, and that’s easy, and other times I “spin” the story a bit to protect some identities. And there are many times where I just can’t blog about a situation because it’s either too close, too personal or the other parents involved could read it and get upset with my analysis and commentary.

It’s tricky but I default to not wanting to share much at all. This might actually be a benefit that we men have because we’re taught to internalize our challenges and emotions so we have to learn how to share. Hmm… that’s an interesting thing to contemplate, don’t you think?

As a parent blogger that wishes to protect the privacy and identity of his/her children online, how do you do it?

The most obvious is to avoid posting your address, naming their school, etc. I’m always amazed when people check in at their banks, for example, or use FourSquare to become mayor of their child’s kindergarten. Why would you want the world at large to know where you live, where your children go to school etc?

Of course, for the vast majority of people this isn’t a concern at all. The odds of some random unknown psycho stumbling across your photos or blog posts about your family and then becoming a stalker and abducting your child or accosting you are essentially zero. If you’re a celebrity or otherwise famous, then the picture changes. And if you win the lottery? Definitely stay below the radar!

What can we do to help our children stay safe online once they grow up and start using the Internet on their own?

I talk with my children about this all the time. One thing we do is go through their friend lists together, and I notice that they are now doing the same with the youngest, which I think reinforces that they’re actually listening when we are having these discussions. My rule for them is if they wouldn’t invite that person into the house, they shouldn’t be friends with them. And never, never share phone numbers, addresses, school schedules, etc.

After enough years online, you learn to be a jaded optimist: always hoping to find the best in people but being fairly cautious nonetheless. Just in case.

What is you parenting philosophy when it comes to limiting your children’s access to Internet and social media?

It’s a reward for things done and done well, to be balanced with physical activity, non-screen time, play, and socializing with friends. It’s most challenging with my 15yo son who has found the joy of online PC gaming. We’re still working on that one together!

What are the main issues children and parents face when it come to privacy protection and online safety?

The biggest challenge is time and attention. A lot of parents are in a permanent state of denial about the risks their children might be incurring through specific behaviors. And children think that the world is a pretty amusing, weird, interesting place but not particularly dangerous. Certainly not when they’re sitting on the couch or at a friend’s house! But it is. And that’s part of the challenge.

How can we protect our children from cyber-bullying?

Teach them to be kind and to expect, no, to demand others be kind too. And to share with us if things are troubling so that we can at least support them emotionally even if we can’t necessarily solve the problem for them.

To read more about Dave’s adventures as a single dad of three and his parenting philosophy, follow his blog and social media accounts!